This summer I am trying to watch 100 films. It’s my way of keeping my inner world alive while working, studying, and building a life far from home. Some films pass through without much noise. Others leave something behind. A sentence. A feeling. A shift.
These are two films that did that.
From 20th Century Women
There is a line in this film that caught me off guard:
“Men always feel like they have to fix things for women. But they’re not doing anything for women. They’re just doing it for themselves.”
I sat with that for a while.
I have seen it in small moments. When someone tries to explain my feelings back to me as if I have not already lived them. When a man interrupts softness with solution. When someone tries to patch my pain because they cannot sit with it.
It reminded me of how many times I have been “helped” by people who could not listen. Help that was more about their discomfort than my need. Help that came with a tone of authority. Help that asked me to be grateful, not honest.
What this line taught me is that sometimes what we need most is not help but presence. Someone who does not rush to fix us, but is willing to be there when we are still undone.
From Private Life
There is a moment where Catherine Hahn’s character, Rachel, says something quietly devastating:
“They told us we could have it all — feminism, freedom, work, children. But it’s not true. You always have to choose.”
That felt personal.
I grew up believing I could do everything. That being smart would make things easier. That if I worked hard, the world would adjust itself around me. But it does not.
The world still asks women to choose.
Between ambition and nurturing.
Between being seen as strong and being seen as lovable.
Between asking for help and being told you are too much.
And no matter how far we think we have come, those choices still shape our days.
Feminism gave us language. It gave us frameworks. But it did not dismantle the structures. And most of us are still trying to navigate a life that was not designed with us in mind.
I do not know if we can ever fully have it all. But I do know we can start by being honest about what we are carrying.
I am still early in my 100-movie journey. I have no perfect system. I choose based on intuition. Based on mood. Based on what I have the energy to receive.
But if you are looking for two films that offer something real not loud, not dramatic, but quietly piercing maybe start here.
Let these lines stay with you. Let them unfold slowly.
That is how they stayed with me.
